As we continue our journey into our inner world often we are presented with opportunities to self-sabotage. Let me explain what I mean by this.
Often we hear that so many of us fear failure but the truth is we also fear success too.
We are taught and told that when something seems too good to be true it usually is.
We are also told that when we are having a run of good luck to expect the worst as good times don’t last forever.
Because of this most of us actually have a fear of success.
We expect the worst outcome and as we all know the law of attraction will bring into your experience what you expect.
We think and say things like:
Do I really deserve this?
Things are going so well it makes me nervous?
Am I good enough?
What will people think of me?
People like me don’t achieve things like this?
My parents always told me….
So you can see clearly here, the patterning and the programming.
The truth is that we are programmed to be an “Average Joe.” Play small, be average, fit in but don’t stand out! We are encouraged to do our best but when we become successful we are accused of getting too big for our boots. If people are confident we accuse them of being egotistical and vain.
The truth is big, small, medium or any other way, when we change it makes people uncomfortable including US sometimes. We eat healthy and feel great so self-sabotage with a take away and fell crappy afterwards. We give up alcohol and fold under the pressure of our friends to go out and get drunk. Then we spend the next few days beating ourselves up for it. We start an exercise regime and start getting accused of being in the gym all the time and neglecting other areas in our life.
We stay in relationships that are abusive because we don’t feel we deserve better. We stay in crappy jobs because we fear being unemployed and losing all our material goods and status. You take on too much and never say no because you want people to like you. You stay up late watching boxsets when you are exhausted and spend the next day berating yourself. The list is endless and individual but you get the picture.
The truth is that you don’t have to live like this so here are my tops 5 tips for reclaiming your life:
RECOGNISE AND ACCEPT THAT YOUR ARE SELF-SABOTAGING
The biggest block from growing into the best versions of our self is not seeing clearly how we are actually living. We need to step back and become an observer of how we show up. When we see how we self-sabotage we can takes steps to make a change. Sit in meditation for 5-10 minutes a day with the intention of seeing clearly. Notice what comes up and then move to step 2.
WRITE IT DOWN TO EXPLORE WHY
One of the most powerful ways to enter the world of change is through writing things down. Putting them on paper makes them real. Write out all the areas in your life where you feel you self-sabotage and beside each one look at why. If you can remember when you started behaving this way then write it down as it will help you to connect the dots. When we begin to see the root cause we can pull it up from the root discouraging regrowth.
My STOP-CATCH-CHANGE technique is an incredible tool for bringing awareness that develops into real change. You simply
STOP what you are doing
CATCH the thought, behaviour or emotion
CHANGE it to a different/better/more positive one leading to a better outcome
TAKE ONE STEP AT A TIME
This is really important. Rome was NOT built in a day and rushing change is believe it or not another form of self-sabotage. So take it easy and take your time. Making small changes means that you will be able to make them stick and they will simply become a part of who you are and how you live. It’s a lifestyle , a way of living that we are aiming for and not a stressful to do list.
START YOUR DAY WITH INTENTION
How you start your day sets a very powerful tone for how you live. If you start your day with purpose and set strong intentions for how you want to live and what type of day you would like to experience it will help you to catch the self-sabotaging behaviours quicker.